Their Call

This the kind of person I am

I run towards those who don’t love, those who can’t appreciate me

Those who don’t give a damn 

If I agree or disagree

 

The pain has become a drug 

The tears I spare, something I don’t see

but I don’t want to unplug

Because only with it do I feel free

 

The fire in them calls my name 

I can’t help but yield its call

my head tells me my heart to reclaim 

but on my own I feel so small

 

I can’t explain how or why 

I run towards those who hurt me most 

They push me down, but I feel high 

What’s left to fight – a ghost

 

I sit here thinking in my mind

How their words cut more than any blade 

But my heart, now theirs, has me confined

And truth is im afraid 

 

I want to break free

I want to run away from it all 

But this has become me

And there goes their addicting call.

Reality

I'm laying here in the loud silence
Sinking into a deadly realization
My everyday appearance to the audience
Fake and just for general accommodation

When was the last time I felt something real
The last time I genuinely held a smile
Because happiness was a feel
And not just a play of a child

Living in the moment, pushing life's despairs

Holding my head high with each coming day
But my heart sinks with burden and tears
And it becomes unclear the message I'm trying to convey

The need to distract myself here and there
Trying not to dwell in the river of sorrow
Because then I become so aware
Of the pain that I push for another tomorrow